You know the feeling and it is not good at all.
You just did your job interview at a company in the city and now you can’t sleep because you are worried that you might not get selected for the job.
You Just did your major exam and now you think that you might have messed up somewhere and that you might fail.
I may never get married. I might die one day. Oh shit, the al-Shabaab might be regrouping again. And did you hear that the world bank is planning on removing its help from our country? Oh my God, next year there might be a drought that might last for months.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Is all this worrying stuff helping you in any way?
I used to be this way. I would never do anything without having a thousand little thoughts in my head and in return worrying about all the possible negative outcomes that there might be. This happened through most of my life until one day I had a realization:
Worrying is just useless!
Let me ask you a simple question. Yeah, I know, you hate questions. But just allow me to ask this for once. What does worrying help you with?
Does worrying change the reality of what is inevitable?
Yeah, you are the man and you are eyeing that girl sitting on that particular table in the bar but the problem is that you are worried that if you approach her she might reject you, call you an asshole and after causing a scene and making sure you are so embarrassed that you can’t even move she walks out of the bar like she just scored a winning goal in the world cup.
Will worrying change the fact that this might happen?
I will not answer that for you. Come on. You are smart enough to be able to answer that. Aren’t you? If you can’t, you have your internet connection with you, come on, google always google!
On second thought, I will answer the question for you.
Worrying will not change a thing. I will tell you what it will do.
It will immobilize you. It will make sure that you do not take any action. It will make sure that you remain seated fantasizing about how that night would have been awesome if you managed to take that girl home.
Come on, you can take her home already. All you need to do is go talk to her. She might reject you yes. But who cares?
REASONS WHY WORRYING IS USELESS
Worrying is useless. I will not tell you that worrying is useless and then leave you just hanging there. I am not the kind of guy who likes to leave people hanging. I will give you the reasons why worrying is as useless as the one bob you get from a Safaricom shop after you buy a phone that costs 19,999/- and you give them 20,000/-. In most cases you will just tell the cashier to just keep the one bob. Come on, how old do they you are? On second thought, that one bob is more useful than worrying is.
1. WORRYING DISTORTS REALITY
Worrying will take an ant and make it an elephant.
Take as an example that guy I mentioned above who wants that girl in the club.
His worrying pattern will be something like this:
I need to go and talk to that girl. But she might reject me. She might call me an asshole and then sprinkle that beer she is holding all over my face. This will make a scene. People will record me and upload a video of me and then upload it to YouTube. The video will go viral and my boss at work will see the video. Then the next day when I walk into work, my boss will be waiting for me with a letter that will inform me that despite the fact that I am a hard worker, the company cannot withstand a disgrace like me working at his company.
Now you see what worrying about something as small as walking to a girl and just saying HI to her has turned the situation into a huge situation. Now you are already being sucked from your job by your boss. What is wrong with you though? Go and say hi to that girl.
Otherwise, you will spend the rest of your life seeing yourself as a huge loser.
2. WORRYING MAKES SURE THAT YOU DON’T TAKE ACTION
I remember after I was done with my high school education I had to move around various offices looking for work that I could do to keep myself busy. I remember that some offices looked really fancy and any time I was approaching these offices I would be entrenched in worrying such that I would just back out even before I entered these offices.
I was worried that those inside these offices would just turn me away even before I even had a chance of speaking to them
Flash back a few years later and I have gone to more of those fancy than I even care to count.
You know what I came to realize?
The people in those offices are politer than even the guy you meet at the gate.
Worrying was making my fears a reality. A reality that was never even a reality as I have come to realize years later.
Worrying makes sure that you get stuck in a place that you don’t want to be. It immobilizes you and more than often keeps your dreams as dreams.
Dreams that you will never realize.
Worrying takes away your power of being in control of your life.
There is no worse feeling than feeling powerless over your own life.
If you are anything like me, it makes you question why the hell you are even living. Or is it existing?
I really don’t even know. You tell me.
3. WORRYING IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH
When you worry, you get stressed.
Stress is leading cause of many medical issues that include depression and high blood pressure.
Believe me, you don’t wanna be the depressed guy.
I had experience with depression when I was told by my doctor that I had diabetes. Believe me when I tell you that it is not a fun feeling.
You just don’t want to talk to anyone. You hate everyone. You think that everyone is responsible for whatever the hell you are going through. You want everyone to die and leave you alone in the world. You want yourself to die and leave behind this world behind. The only thing is that none of these things ever happens. You are stuck here. A suicide thought crosses your mind but then you think of your family crying over your dead body and hesitate.
I just cringe when I look back and see what was happening to me. I wouldn’t even wish it even on my worst enemy. And I really hate my worst enemy, he stole my dog, but I wouldn’t still wish depression on his crazy ass.
Don’t wish depression on yourself by worrying.
4. WORRYING ROBS YOU YOUR PRESENT
Right now, is the only moment that we have.
You don’t really know what may happen the next moment.
You may make plans for tomorrow and not wake up tomorrow.
But then, here comes worrying.
Be honest with me pal, when you are worrying, are you focused on the now or are you focused on the future?
If you decide to be honest with me, which I am sure you will, the answer is that you are focused on the future.
So, let’s assume that today you decide to worry about tomorrow, but then, tomorrow arrives and instead of living to the fullest you start worrying about the next day.
The cycle then repeats itself all through the whole year. When will you ever enjoy the present moment?
You know what? You can never control the future. You can’t even control what will happen five minutes from now.
Why the hell are you allowing the future to rob you your present? Life is happening now. It is not happening tomorrow. Damn, it is not even happening thirty minutes from now. Let go of the worries.
5. WORRYING MAKES SURE THAT YOU DON’T MAKE DECISIONS
To make a decision, a worrier must go through millions and millions of possible outcomes. Let me show you a typical worrier trying to make a decision whether to eat outside or not. I am now paying a ticket for you to enter into a worrier’s brain:
“I know I want to go and eat outside. But if I go to eat outside, I might get poisoned. If I don’t get poisoned, I might get laughed at by the people in the restaurant because I am really clumsy at using chopsticks. If they laugh at me I will get embarrassed and my hands might start shaking and I might spill all the food on myself. This might make me look like a dumbass and by now the whole restaurant’s attention will be directed towards me. I might think of running out of the restaurant to avoid the millions of eyes staring at me, but then owner will think I am running away so as to avoid paying. Before I reach the exit, I may trip and fall breaking one leg and one hand. The pain might render me unconscious such that I won’t be able to explain to the restaurant owner that I was not running away to avoid paying the bill. The owner will then call the police. I will be arrested and taken to hospital where I will be guarded all day by police officers waiting for me to heal so that I can go to jail. My family will hear about it. I will then become the talk of my village back home and an outcast. That is why I am not going to eat out. I am not that stupid!”
Now, get out of the worrier’s brain.
Do you see what I am talking about?
I know you do!
HOW DO WE STOP THIS WORRYING STUFF?
I know, I have convinced you that worrying is useless. Now, the question is, how do you stop the worrying?
1. EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY
Yeah, I might fail that interview, but also, I might pass, whatever happens, I am cool with it.
Yeah, I might never get married now that I am 30 and still single, but also, I might get married, whatever happens, I am cool with it.
This is what I am talking about when I say embrace uncertainty. Almost everything that we care about in life involves uncertainty. There is no way to avoid uncertainty. But worrying is not a solution either.
2. LIVE IN THE PRESENT
Worry is by definition about the future. Limit yourself to living your life in the moment.
Breath in and then breath out.
Feel that freshness flooding your body?
Enjoy it right now. Let what is gonna happen in the future happen.
3. FACE YOUR FEARS
If you face your fears head on, they diminish.
You realize that fear is nothing but an emotion that is trying to keep you from becoming who you have always wanted to become.
Kick fear straight in the face by doing what you fear and see how it shuts up. You become free and you worry less.
4. ASK YOURSELF IF IT IS BENEFICIAL
How will me worrying that I might miss the flight help?
It won’t help? Are you sure? Then why the hell are you worried?
5. STOP BEING IDLE
Yes, do something. Move your body.
That way you will focus on what you are doing instead of worrying about shit that might never happen.
Worrying is the most useless activity that 100% of us are guilty of at least at some point in our lives, yes, that is even me included.
But you know what? We can change this. We can do better than this.
So why not share this on your social media to let everyone in there how useless worrying is?
Leave a comment down below. I love reading comments.